Top 5 Weirdest Things about Knee Surgery

5 ) Figuring out how to get up steps again. It sounds so easy until you go for that 8" vertical leap and fail miserably. Cheers to sleeping downstairs tonight!

4) Touching my numb left leg. It feels like I'm petting a very pale bear. Who doesn't exercise.

3) Finding out what you said under anaesthesia. Apparently I'm a huge fan of the Baconator and my blue surgery hairnet.

2) Texting people to tell them you're still alive. And knowing that they secretly hope you're drugged and ready to discuss something quite ridiculous.

1) The nurse asking "So, have you ever been drugged before?" Some kind of awkward cross between a Maury interview and a come on. Too bad he was a guy.

JFK