Maybe we should go dancing.....

The title is a DMB reference - whoever can spot it gets props!

Why don't we dance anymore? Seriously, all we do is grind. When you or I go to the club, we just sort of rub against other people. I don't know why, but I know the following:

• This isn't nearly as sick as old school dances. Have you seen the Charleston? How about people dancing to In the Groove? Even the damn Shuffle is cooler than anything we have now!
• Our stuff now is weak. The best we can come up with is Souljaboi - that was sort of cool, but there's no depth, no improvisation. How can you expect a satisfying dance from a man so shallow that he named his album after his own website? I'm not kidding - look it up. I have the album and it's musical garbage.
  
  And don't even try to argue the Cha Cha Shuffle. The song is a series of instructions set to music. At least it gives me hope that I can write a song that people will dance to - the Lowe's Deck Chair Assembly Slide!
  
  
• Nobody even likes dancing now. Let's face it - who enjoys grinding? Girls hate it - I've asked them and I've never heard any girl say "Yeah I love rubbing up against pants". Girls like the atmosphere, going with their friends, having a few drinks, not the actual dance.
  
  Speaking for guys, we'll take it, but it's not why we got dressed that night. Grinding isn't even first base - it's like taking four steps off home and just standing there, hoping you might advance but probably getting thrown out. In our defense though, the best friend shortstop has a hell of an arm.

So how do we fix this? We don't. If you create your own dance, you're either a) so legit I shoudn't be allowed in the same room as you or b) that guy who thinks he's amazing but really just had a few too many drinks. Chances are you and I aren't making a legendary dance anytime soon that has mainstream appeal and can redefine an era. So until then enjoy your grindin and keep the Macarena favorited on your laptop for those lonely nights.....

JFK